june_juniperisms - 1

Picking up a large rock on the street: “I’m gonna put it in a glass of water.” Me: “Why?” June: “An octopus will come out. She will be born.”

At a highway rest area: “Mom, a sandwich! A SANDWICH!” It took me a solid minute to figure out she was looking at the state flag. It is an exceptionally lame state flag. I think I much prefer Junip’s interpretation, where two people are holding a giant sandwich.

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I need to preface this next one by saying that I am notorious in my family for drinking everyone’s water. I don’t mean to. It’s just, we’ll be watching a movie or something, and I’ll take a sip of Drew’s water, and then I look down and the cup is empty in my hand. Well, at dinner the other night, J looks at me and says: “I drink your water up?” I told her she could have a sip. She shoots me this devious smile and, in one go, downs my entire mason jar of water. Like, cue the cartoon ‘glug glug glug’ noises. And, declarative this time: “I drink your water ALL up.” Can’t say I didn’t have that one coming.

Wrapping a toy in a dishtowel, talking to herself: “I got you a present, Coco.” So of course I ask who Coco is, thrilled at the emergence of a first imaginary friend. J, in a totally somber voice: “He’s my friend. He found me when I was lost. I was lost in the winter and snow and he saved me. He looks like a clown.” Wow, right? Creepy a little?

After Drew mentioned work: “I make work, too!” (Runs for her markers) “I’m an artist. I make artwork.” (Heart melting)

Quietly ‘reading’ to herself: “And the rhinosaurus says, ‘I will make mincemeat of you, King Babar! I will make mincemeat of you, Queen Celeste!'” Ah, yeah, that’s not actually what the book says.

While at the grocery store with Grandma: “We need beer at our house.” Grandma: “I don’t think you do.” J: “YES. We need beer. And chips.”

A cunning new tactic: beginning her sentences “Daddy was thinking that…” As in, “Daddy was thinking that we could go get some ice cream.” She is a clever little girl, my Juniper.